Detour

"For you were like a straying sheep, but now you have returned to the Sheppard and Guardian of your soul."

- 1 Peter 2:25

Testimony

Today I was baptized at my local church in front of many witnesses to publicly manifest my allegiance to Christ. I was required to write a short testimony of how I came to walk with Christ and I wanted to share it here.

He Welcomes My Blackened Soul.
- Testimony of David Yoo

I am writing this testimony to proclaim God’s glorious work in my life and in hopes to encourage at least one more person to rejoice together in His greatness.

Growing up, I was that wild, immature juvenile who had a routine of getting suspended from school every other week. I’d always somehow get involved with the wrong crowd or in unfavourable situations and every time, I had to watch my mother in tears, as she begged the school to overlook it.  Stupidity. That was my motto and I’d do foolish things to the point I’ve been arrested and even obliged to receive therapy. Perhaps I was deprived of attention from home and was seeking it somewhere else, but clearly, there was something very significant missing in my life – guidance. My family wasn’t exactly ideal, mainly due to my violent father. My family lived in constant fear of his abuse and as much as he cruelly disciplined me, he never offered me the guidance, attention and provision I needed. Being the ambitious entrepreneur that he is, he wasn’t satisfied with his promising company that he had and left my family 6 years ago to pursue a greater venture in China. My father was absent during the most important years of my life and ever since he left, I’ve yet to seen him more than once, leaving me alone in my masculine journey of becoming a man. The consequence of my father investing heavily in his new enterprise resulted in my family becoming financially unstable and my mother was forced to work part-time jobs to raise me and my sister alone. I hardly got to see my mother’s weary face anymore and the most beloved people in my life seemed to be slowly drifting away into dusk, one by one. Mentally and spiritually, I became an orphan. My dearest grandfather who was living with me at the time fell terribly ill and was diagnosed with brain tumour. He unexpectedly left me a short time after. It came to my realization that he was hiding his agonizing illness until he could no longer hide his seizures, because he didn’t want to become a burden to my financially struggling family. I fell into a black hole of guilt, telling myself that he would still be with me if only I’d known sooner. I would’ve sold my soul to come up with the money to give him the proper medical care that he needed. I blamed my broken family and every misery in my life on money – not having enough of it. My obsession with money grew and I declared my sole purpose in life to become filthy rich. It was the lowest point in my life as I looked to worldly pleasures to fill this emptiness in my heart. Alcohol, girls, sex and entertainment were only temporary means to escape from my reality and eventually I was left devastated, depressed and broken. As I was desperate to pursue lasting happiness in my life, I envied the lives of my Christian friends because they seemed to be filled with joy and passion. How can they be so content living in this bitter world? Their answer was Jesus Christ. I was hesitant to seek Christ in my life because my very existence is so dirty and tainted, hence I believed I wasn’t worthy for God’s love. My long endured battle of repenting and committing to become a Christ follower was a great hurdle, but only through my brokenness it was made possible. Brokenness shattered my self-reliance and revealed my need for God. Brokenness exposed my flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. Brokenness purified my motives and suppressed my pride, greed, selfishness, jealousy and lust. Brokenness allowed me a deeper understanding of myself and God. Brokenness equipped me with the compassion and understanding for others' sufferings. My brokenness was a sign of God's love and activity in my life. My brokenness led me to Christ – my new father.  

I was lost but now I am found. No longer was I alone in my endeavours. The only things that were lost were my burdens and worries which He replaced with confidence and aspirations. God was in control of my life. My obsession with money was all directed towards God’s glory, yet my ambitions and motivation were greater than ever before. As I prayed that He would use me for a great purpose and that He would prepare me for that purpose, God provided me with guidance and everything I need in my journey ahead. My family couldn’t support me financially to attend University but a miracle was bestowed upon me. God desired for me to go and made it possible by blessing me with over $50 000 worth of scholarships. I found victory in anything I attempted, as well as achieving high academic success. Humbly, I can only say with a grateful heart, “I can do all this through Him who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13

We may not realize it, but like the air that we breathe to be refreshed or the gentle breeze that cools us on a scorching summer day, God is always working in our lives even if we cannot see it. Even during the times of my brokenness, God indulged me with the strength and direction to get back up on my feet and persevere.  With every pain endured, I grew in spirit and with every battle fought, I became stronger. My journey with Christ has only just begun and through my sinful nature, I still struggle with temptations of self-image and lust. However, I am not dismayed because of the unconditional love that God spoils me with. Ever since I have accepted Christ as my Lord and saviour, I have come upon the one and only everlasting joy in which I find peace. My life, inclusive of my past, present and future is portrayed in Psalm 23. I’ve made my own translations on the side.

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David

The LORD is my shepherd, (Father)
I have everything I need. (Providence)
He makes me lie down in green pastures, (Comfort)
he leads me beside still waters, (Refreshment) 
he restores my soul. (Healing)
He guides me along the path of righteousness (Guidance)
for his name’s sake. (Purpose)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, (Testing)
I will fear no evil, (Protection)
for you are with me, (Faith)
your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Discipline)
You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. (Hope)
You anoint my head with oil, (Commitment)
my cup overflows. (Abundance)
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, (Blessing)
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD (Security)
forever.. (Eternity)